Progress.

I haven’t posted in a while due to recent events. I am still on my path to happiness although there have been many stop offs along the way thus far.

When your mind is over worked, it also is overwhelmed. Not enough sleep, not enough focus, not enough clarity. But the show must go on. I guess I have it in me to always keep going full steam ahead. To sit and sulk is really illogical, it can’t help the process run its’ course. Or can it? Everyone’s different but I know I keep on, guns blazing with work.  With all else I feel like I have to stay true to my insides — which usually is to stay in, eat all the things I enjoy at once, and watch my favorite shows, while thinking of what is weighing in my heart. I’ve never been one to feel needy of escaping the reality of the moment. If something upsetting is going on, then I’m upset. End of story. I know I will work through it instead of passing it by, looking back, and wishing I focused on my feelings. The key moments can be the most painful, but the most powerful. Being reflective is the trick, I think, to learning about yourself. But only in those moments of pain can you truly look inside and listen to your wounds and focus on how to help yourself. My healing is usually with the help of my family. I am grateful that they see my determination to seek out the best of myself and to bring out the best in others.
This may seem like a long and drawn out self reflection of nothingness, but it sort of is! This is an example of the eb and flows of my overactive mind.
How can I be better?
Why are things so difficult to understand?
How can I keep going?
Will things become what I’d hoped for?
Its all just part of the process. Another puzzle piece to add to the ever-building image. Happiness to some may be drinks with friends, or music and dancing, maybe going in the opposite direction and rejecting the daily routine.  Not me. I think I’m discovering that happiness is finding comfort inside yourself, within your mind. Being able to be with yourself and hear yourself and know you aren’t giving up. Discovering that maybe it will all make sense someday.