I remember when I was around 15 years old, my Mum and Aunt would casually mention during our weekly dinner dates that one day when I am 30something, I’ll start to realize my age but not feel it. I sat there, likely rolling my eyes at the statement, proper-wishing to be cool and 18, let alone older. I never really thought 30 was old, probably because my sister and I have a larger age gap than the norm (back then) and I always wanted to be like her and her friends. But – I didn’t have a clue what my Mum and Aunt were talking about.
Fast forward to being 32 -- and now I get it.
In their late 40s, they said they felt about 25 and not until they had to mention their age, did they realize how time had gone by, calling out their ‘number’. I commiserate. Could it be because I have ‘yet to accomplish’ things I thought I might have already? Or could it be because I tend to befriend people younger than myself? Or perhaps its’ because I am a retail manager who employs people generally in that oh-so-tender late-teens to 20somethings who are (like myself at their age) finding themselves, and thinking time is Now and Forward,
not to be savored because it laps you quick? Either way, I sometimes notice myself whispering my age or slighting saying it at all. The good ‘ol “oh I’m far older than you” or “one day you’ll understand when you’re my age”.
I feel like I'm 26. I would say I've accomplished more than she; learned more; lived more... but just in the feeling of my body, 26. BUT, I am asking myself why feel younger when THIS IS my 32??
Social media has helped me realize how relatable my feelings are. That it’s common for people to be alone in their 30s; to have kids into their 40s; to start all over again in their 50s. We have been told this since the era of SATC, and yet it still feels SO uncommon. The constructs of normal are so embedded into our minds-eye that even when we preach to love where we’re at in life, we still feel like we don’t. I have struggled with knowing I may have checked 3 out of 4 boxes of my life to-dos and yet I still feel lacking. But come on… who’s made this biological clock and list anyways?
So! I am pivoting this blog to focus on what it is to be in my 30s and all the wonderful things I am discovering, learning, accepting, and reinventing. I share this experience in hopes to truly LIVE in my truth, and inspire other 30somethings to love who they are becoming, whether following the grain or going against it.
Can’t wait to share the adventure
Time does fly too quickly…so well said. I’m not just saying this but you’re so young still and I can’t wait to see the adventure unfold.
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Thanks! I feel young but I do feel old-er because I’m always around people younger than me. I spent my whole younger life around those older than me, so it’s such a shift. One I’m ready to enjoy!